Why Developing Thick Skin Is Not Necessary

Join me at http://www.DrMariaChurch.com/drmariatv/ where the discussion continues. Someone asked me, "How can you develop a thick-skin at work?" My initial r...

Someone asked me the other day, “How can you develop a thick-skin at work?” My initial response, “Develop a strong heart.”

Growing up, I was often teased because of my over-bite. Called many names at school, I came home frequently collapsing into a pile of tears. My mother would tell me to ignore the bully’s hurtful comments and eventually they would stop. I did experience some truth in this, but what was even more impactful, were her words, “Maria, you are beautiful, they just don’t see it.” Of course, she was referring to my inner beauty. I knew my outer beauty would catch up once I got braces!

Why is it that as adults we still feel the need to toughen up and not let other people’s words hurt us? Could it be that we forgot our inner beauty?

If so, do not worry. Reclaiming our inner beauty and strengthening our heart is easy to do. Developing a strong heart begins with self-love. Practice these ten steps and in no time, you will not need a thick skin because you will have a strong heart:

  1. List your strengths. Next to each one, identify how you may leverage your strong points.

  2. Create an action plan for personal and professional growth.

  3. Reconnect with your intuition.

  4. Do something creative every day.

  5. Spend time in stillness each day.

  6. Get enough sleep. Six to eight hours are recommended for optimum health.

  7. Move your body every day. Some days it may only be walking to the mailbox.

  8. Eat foods that nourish your body in healthy ways.

  9. List at least five things each day for which you are grateful.

  10. Find ways to help others see their greatness.

What are some additional ways you strengthen your heart?

With love,

Maria

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ8u4vXVj2...

Teach To Reach Transformational Leadership

I love the Buddhist saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

In my many years of teaching formal courses at the university level, I am a student right along with the class I am teaching. When I teach, I learn. I have yet to teach a class where I have not learned something from my many teachers, also known as my students.

We are ever changing in this world and the cycle of learning and teaching never changes, unless of course we find ourselves closed off from learning. In order to be a good teacher, we must first be a good student.

As we teach, we must remember that we are not transmitting information—we are transforming lives. That may sound a bit dramatic, but that is exactly what good teaching does; it transforms. Transformation comes about through many different forms: motivation, persuasion, mobilization, influence, and of course miracles. When we teach, we are in essence saying, I care about you, you are important, and I want to help. Wow, who wouldn’t be motivated forward with that type of message?

Motivation also comes from demonstrating belief in others. Teaching affords us an opportunity to build esteem and self-efficacy. Think of Maslow’s needs hierarchy of needs; esteem and self-actualization are the top highest levels. Teaching and learning meet both of the high order needs for yourself and for those you teach.Through the process of teaching, we build trust when we facilitate teaching with a learner-centered approach. Remembering that we are not just transferring information, but transforming others, we teach according to the needs of others. I use the same approach when I do training, coaching, or motivational speaking.

First, I discover the needs of the audience and tailor my work to meet those needs. Of course, I provide resources and information to support their transformation, but first I must find out where they are now and where they want to grow. Effective teachers in a classroom setting know this and adjust their lesson plans to accommodate emerging needs that come up during instruction. We call these moments, teachable moments, when we can seize the opportunity and use it as a springboard for learning.

A Native American proverb illustrates this concept, “Tell me and I’ll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I’ll understand.” Once we identify the needs of the people and address those needs, then learning occurs and the outcome is performance.So remember this TEACH acronym:

Time – Take the time to invest in the development of others.

Empathy – Have empathy for those you teach, respecting the place where they are at that moment.

Awareness – Come into the teaching exchange with full awareness and presence.

Care – Create a safe space for learning to occur that is filled with care and compassion.

Help –Remember that when we serve others, we are truly love-based leaders.

I would love to hear from you. How do you teach in your leadership role?

Who was your best teacher and why?

With love,

Maria

Need more resources? Click here to purchase my Love-Based Leadership book to “Transform Your Life with Meaning and Abundance”

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